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Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper

 

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.

 

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

 

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

 

Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

 

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.

 

Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.

 

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

 

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.

 

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

 

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

 

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.

Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.

 

Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.

 

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.

 

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: They can't remember the number.

 

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

 

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

 

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

 

Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in his/her ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

 

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

 

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

 

Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.

 

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

 

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

 

Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

 

Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.

 

Q: What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech, vroom, screech?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

 

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade four.

 

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

 

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.

 

Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

 

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

 

Q: Why can't the blonde make ice cubes?
A: She lost the recipe.

 

Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?
A: The noise gave her a headache.

 

Q: How does a blond know if she's on her way home or on her way to work?
A: She opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it.

 

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A: Knock on the door.

 

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: The instructions stated, "good for up to 20 pounds".

 

Q: Did you hear about Pepsi's new soda just for blondes?
A: It has "open other end" printed on the bottom.

 

Q: Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet?
A: She was last years hide and seek winner.

 

Q: What is dumber than a brunette building a fire under the water?
A: A blonde trying to put it out.

 

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

 

Q: How did the blond burn her ear?
A: The phone rang while she was ironing.

 

Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in?
A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".

 

Q: How does a blonde make instant pudding?
A: She places the box in the microwave and looks for the "instant pudding setting" button.